“To know yourself, you must sacrifice the
illusion that you already do.”
― Vironika Tugaleva, The Art of Talking to Yourself
I invite you to ask yourself the following question…
Who Are You?
Learning how to answer this question can be daunting at first.
But the search for these answers can be a worthwhile investment in your peace, happiness, and success.
I am an introvert. And, like any introvert, I prefer to be alone. However, because I was so misunderstood, and because I did not understand myself, I often felt alone in the world.
To clarify…for me, loneliness has little to do with physically being alone. It is about feeling alone. This feeling of loneliness stems from not being understood by others.
Even as an introvert, I crave the human connection. This connection starts with an understanding and appreciation of each other.
But how can we ourselves be appreciated if we don’t know who we are?
I Don’t Know Who I Am…So What?
“Tell me about yourself”
“What do you like to do for fun?”
And worst of all….
“What do you want to be when you grow up?”
“What would you like to do next in your career?”
“What are your strengths? Weaknesses?”
I used to get a lot of anxiety from these questions. Correction, I can still get anxious from these questions.
But I have learned that my anxiety comes from Not knowing the answers.
This has not only affected my personal life.
It has limited my confidence at work and caused me to limit myself and to get in my own way.
I have lacked clarity and purpose in my life for many years.
I have allowed myself to be defined by labels because without self-awareness, I had no means of creating and defining the labels for myself.
It is time for a new mindset.
So…Where Do We Start?
Here are some key Questionnaires, Personality, and Career Models that I believe are worth looking at.
- Meyers-Briggs Test – MBTI
I have taken the Meyers-Briggs test. It was a great help and it gave me confidence by allowing me to clarify to myself and to others who I am.
I don’t believe the solution ends at identifying results from a test or questionnaire.
True learning and true achievement is found in the act of doing.
A great book that will enable you to bridge the gap between learning and doing something about it is the book, “Do What You Are” by Paul D. Tieger, Barbara Barron, and Kelly Tieger.
- Enneagram Model
I have not yet taken the Enneagram Model Questionnaire.
My research of the Enneagram Model identifies it as a great tool for discovering insight into motivation theory.
I will be taking the test this week and will be sure to share my results and feedback.
There is a great book on the Enneagram Model – “Understanding the Enneagram” by Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson
It is my hope that this book again, is a tool that helps bridge the gap from learning to doing.
- The book “What Color Is Your Parachute?” by Richard N. Bolles
A great book which enables us to identify our strengths.
This book helps us utilize our strengths in our current roles.
And, it can help us identify our future dream jobs and transition into them.
What Have I Learned So Far?
Learning about myself and taking ownership of who I am has allowed me to understand how and why I think or perceive the world around me the way I do.
It has allowed me to begin to see that I have a purpose and unique gifts to bring to the world that can add value to others.
And yes, I have begun to learn the answers to those dreaded questions I listed above.
As I have begun to take seriously the task of learning about myself and who I am, there have been positive affects in my life I did not anticipate.
I developed confidence and my anxiety has become significantly reduced.
I have made the realization…
If we don’t know who we are, then how can we make sure that our actions are aligned with our beliefs?
My work with others…
It is how to work with others that is the secret equation that must be discovered.
This equation is different for each of us.
Whether we have developed the words for the question we are asking is irrelevant.
The question we are asking each other is, “how best do I work with you?”
“What do you need from me in order for this relationship, work/personal or otherwise to make this work”?
We are asking for parameters and understanding of each other so that we are comfortable with each other and can move forward in harmony.
By knowing who we are, we allow for others to not take us personally. We learn to clarify what it is we need and provide for others, a basic understanding of ourselves.
This not only alleviates stress or anxiety in the other party. It alleviates a huge amount of stress and anxiety from ourselves.
Once I discovered this, I felt an immense amount of freedom for the first time since I was a child.
A Call To Action – Discovering Who You Are…Finding Clarity and Purpose
“We have no greater leverage over our own lives than through the development of self-knowledge” – Charles D. Hayes, Proving Your Qualified
“The only way to be truly deliberate is to understand yourself” – Charles D. Hayes, Proving Your Qualified
What is your purpose?
What are you living for?
If you have the answers to these questions…you are well ahead of me.
If you have any hesitation…
If there is the smallest piece of you, some corner uncovered…
I urge you.
We only live once. Get moving.