Visit Sidney Falbo’s Facebook Page which is dedicated to Sidney Falbo and her story which is so beautifully told in her gift of art.
This letter was inspired by a true story. And I am honored and blessed to have been lucky enough to become acquainted with a wonderful, beautiful, and inspiring mother that lost her only child a few years back.
The point of this writing is to offer an alternative point of view. And to invite all of us to look at life and it’s meaning through a different lens.
And so, here friend, is my letter to you…
You have lost a child. A tragic loss. I heard once that there is an order to the pain felt with the death of loved ones.
A child loses a parent…heartbreaking.
A partner lost in death…Heart wrenching.
A parent loses a child…a cruelty against the natural order.
Where did these rules come from? I wonder…are they the truth?
I too have experienced the loss of a loved one. When I was 13 years old, I lost my mother. Her death tore my life apart. And everything I knew, everything I believed in, and everything that surrounded me was suddenly at risk of being swept out from under me.
It was my awakening to what lies beyond our physical lives. Who was I without my mother? Was I still my mother’s son?
What would it mean to live without her? Would living, succeeding, and thriving be an affront and an abomination to her memory?
But the only way that her life could having meaning…is if I lived life for all it is worth.
You must do the same. I imagine it is different when a parent loses a child. It is a direct violation of the natural order of things.
But this is not the real truth. You may think that your daughter only learned from you. That your life’s work was to create, to raise, to teach, to influence a child and watch them develop into an adult with purpose.
But do not be disillusioned. You are still a mother. And you, will always be a mother. Your child taught you as well. What will you do with what she taught you?
It does not matter who came first or who leaves first. It does not matter the length of our stay.
There is a spirit inside you that begs for you to not be disillusioned by the limitations of your physical perception.
When we realize who we really are. Nothing that matters is of the physical realm.
It is spirit. Is it not?
We struggle with this concept. Being trapped in the physical body as we are.
It is easy to miss the power of the unseen. But the unseen is most definitely felt.
That moment when you are alone.
And you question what it is, who you are, what you are that looks out of these two eyes within this body that will betray you one day with it’s death.
You recognize that you are at odds with the limitation of this thing, this body you are in.
So, what is death? Is it the end?
When your child’s body ended it’s existence…did the spirit within it die too?
What will you choose to believe?
The choice is yours. And what you choose to believe, is what will be true.
I know you can feel your child’s presence.
I know you sense her spirit.
You are not mad. Her memory is her spirit.
Do not overthink this. And most definitely do not try to understand it.
I think at times, we must accept that we are limited in our understanding while deceived by the physical illusion we exist in.
Can you comprehend the infinite realm of space or time?
Do we think we have the right to define spirit and to limit something unseen and intangible?
It is time to have faith in what you feel.
Do not discredit what you feel. We have been deceived.
What we feel. The unseen. The intangible. The spirit and essence of who we are.
That is all that matters. After the physical dies and decays. What is left of us?
What is left of you? What is left of your child?
What is left is the truth. A spirit. Powerful and Unstoppable.
But beware. These powerful truths are easily forgotten in the earthly realm. For this power is unseen.
And only those that have faith. Only those that know the real truth will know of it’s existence.
Your child lives on. She is not done here. All that is required is that you remember.
Kurt Petersen aka TheDreamHustler